by Wilbur Witt
I've tried for two days not to write about Wiener's wiener, but it's just too good! When he paraded his wife up there in a press conference and started telling about how his texting was an ongoing problem, and his wife standing by his wiener, OMG, he must have an enormous wang, that's all I can say. And nobody was laughing! Now folks I've done some dumb crap. I mean like get drunk at a party and say something so stupid the next day I hoped to wake up dead so at least everyone would feel sorry for me, but I never, never took a picture of my dick and emailed it to anyone! I don't think mine would impress anyone anyway, but that's not the point!
This guy was on Capitol Hill! This guy wants to be mayor of New York! When I visualized him in the halls of Congress by day, and snapping pictures of Mr. Happy by night, I gotta admit...I had to wipe the tears out of my eyes. One reason I didn't write about it at first is I just knew this story was some kind of liberal trick to sucker in people like me. But the more I considered it, and IMAGINED the logistics, I just had to chime in. Think about it. First he has to get the thing up. Now that takes a little work. So he arranges that. Then, position the camera. SNAP! Then send it to an Internet contact! Yeah, yeah, someone like that could probably run New York. I wouldn't send that to FRENCHI, and I KNOW her!
This is a clear case of everyone trying to be politically correct. No reporter dare says, "DUDE! Why'd you send a picture of your dick to an Internet chick?" And, I'll no doubt take some criticism just writing this article, but remember, I didn't DO this! I'm just laughing about it. This will be a short one today with probably no follow up, but just make a note; people in public office are not supposed to do this sort of thing, but then I'm just a simple old' boy from Austin, so what do I know?
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